Venturing Vegas

Getting There

At the end of 2011's summer, I was finishing up my graduate school internship in northern California, when it struck me that I had never seen Las Vegas.

For those of you getting A+'s in geography, NoCal isn't necessarily close to Vegas; however, as a Midwesterner at the time, the west coast was the closest I'd ever been to Sin City. I had an undergraduate classmate working at the world-famous Wynn Las Vegas; so with him as my guide, I decided it was the perfect time to head south and to see what all the lights were about.

As you know, this blog is about teaching you how to prepare for and enjoy travel to its fullest extent; however, preparing for this 17-hour round-trip, weekend-long excursion would be my undoing.

Having never been to Vegas, flying without a posse or a wingman, and not being one built for the "club scene," I had no idea how to dress. So I loaded my little black Mazda 3 with virtually all of the clothes I had brought for my internship, and I headed south.

Having left work right at "the bell" on Friday, I was driving through the dark, star-laden desert of northern Nevada around midnight, listening to the most amazing radio program I've ever heard, true to this very day. People from across the region were calling in to share their personal alien abduction stories, and the host was empathetically talking them through their experiences. It was like War of the Worlds meets Delilah. 

From out of nowhere, red, white, and blue flashing lights went off in my rearview mirror. I had no idea what I had been doing wrong - there were no other cars on the road, which was virtually pitch black. I glanced at my speedometer before pulling over, and I was doing about 85 m.p.h. on the stretch of 80 m.p.h. highway. I pulled out my license and registration; and as the officer took my documents, he explained that I had been speeding recklessly through a 25 m.p.h. zone. Unbeknownst to me, there had been a closed, single gas station and a small quick-mart in the velvet black of the desert; and in that roughly 200 meter stretch, the speed limit dropped to 25 m.p.h. No lights, no heads up: a definite speed trap.

When the officer saw my backseat filled with clothing, he asked, "where are you going in such a rush?"

"Las Vegas, for the weekend."

"Why so many clothes?"

"Honestly, I've never been to Vegas, so I didn't know what to wear."

"Please step out of the car."

So the officer had me step out of the car, just the two of us in the middle of nowhere. He asked if I wouldn't mind if he looked around the car a little bit, and to open my trunk. I obliged... a young college kid just trying to finish his internship so he could graduate, with no witnesses or anyone else in the desert - I didn't feel that it was the time to exercise my rights and argue against him.

While poking through my trunk, he discovered a small, latched black case. Obliging his request to open it, a small, blue, glass hookah was revealed (an old gift from a college buddy that had been rattling around in my trunk for several years). "If I test this, I'm not going to find any marijuana, right?" He asked. "Of course not, it's purely for tobacco," I answered. (This was six years before the legalization of recreational marijuana in the state of Nevada).

After about 45 minutes alone on the side of the highway, the officer exercising that incredibly-fun tactic where they just go hang out in their cruiser for a half hour while you sweat bullets, I was let go. Several weeks later, I received a $300+ speeding ticket in the mail; which for a graduate student, was a devastating amount of money to owe. After recounting this story to several locals, apparently the town in which I was interning was widely known as a heavy producer of illegal marijuana, and so the officer most likely assumed I was a drug runner, headed to the party capital of America with a trunk-full of pot. So, this leads me to my first lesson for you in this post, and it's a pretty simple one:

Follow the laws of wherever you go (e.g. for me, be extra careful not to speed); and know that your politeness and respect may not necessarily get you out of trouble.

The Vegas Experience

Certainly weekends are party-time in Las Vegas; so besides being able to stay with him and briefly seeing him between shifts, I didn't get much time with my ol' college buddy. So I was on my own for much of Las Vegas; and as a graduate student, I had very little money to spare (and even less, with that $300+ speeding ticket on its way). And therein lies my second lesson for Las Vegas:

As what I would argue the manufactured entertainment capital of the world (besides Macau or Dubai), go to Las Vegas in a group and with plenty of money to burn.

Rising up out of the desert where no town should exist, Las Vegas is entirely fabricated; and as a destination where every unnatural leisure pursuit can be achieved, Vegas runs on money - a lot of money. In planning a trip to Vegas, or finally with heels or sneakers on the ground, you'll see unlimited "deals" and packages on price savings, the only one of which I've seen be a honest deal is how cheap flights can be to get there, oftentimes even <$100 domestic (a special deal the city and airlines have worked out). However, accommodations, food, transportation, drinking, entertainment, and of course the black hole of gambling - it costs a tremendous amount of money to have "a good time" in Vegas. So come with wads of cash you're happy to never see again.

Las Vegas is largely built on communal events. Sure, you'll see the occasional senior sitting alone at a slot machine with a bucket of nickels; but by and large, the town is about doing things together: incredible shows, unique dining experiences, sharing gambling tables, and other activities that bring people together. If you're alone and without your group to comment on what you're seeing and experiencing, Vegas can be a very lonely experience. 

It's a dangerous trap for this to turn into a trip report (much like what most TripAdvisor reviews degrade into), so I want to focus on the tips and lessons. But just to get the context out of the way, I spent most of my weekend simply walking the four-mile Strip (the main drag of casinos and hotels in Las Vegas), dipping in and out of the world-renown casinos to see what they were all about. Some views:

And that brings me to my third tip: remember, Las Vegas is in the desert. Depending on when you visit and you're out and about, the desert is hot! If you haven't rented a car (probably a nightmare on the Strip), and you're not catching Lyfts everywhere, you're going to do a lot of walking. 

So, wear comfortable shoes for pounding the pavement (despite night club life, Vegas is a very casually-dressed town), stop inside frequently to get breaks from the heat, and stay hydrated with water (although many will joke that the incredibly watered-down alcoholic drinks served on casino floors are darn-near water. Note: You need to be actively gambling at a table to get free drink service).

The highlight for Las Vegas for me though was attending the live The Price is Right show. Of the many unique, fun, and incredibly-produced shows Vegas has - from magicians to Cirque du Soleil to some of the world's most famous singers - it includes a version of the Price is Right that is just like the TV show, without the cameras. So for the fourth lesson:

Much like NYC's Times Square has the TKTS booth, the Vegas Strip has Tix4Tonight. After waiting in line for a while in that scorching sun, I was about to get a $35 ticket to the show. While I didn't get called up on stage, I did get that famous price tag nametag, and had an absolute blast.

The Final Word

Like Coca-Cola and avocados, Las Vegas is an acquired taste that is far from "for everyone." With its chief service of entertainment (read: vacuuming money out of your bank account), it is bright, loud, crowded, and like walking through a pop-up-ad-laden website without respite. With drinking such a big part of the Vegas experience as well, and the city attracting people of all demographics and origins, strong public intoxication is frequent, both leading to messy encounters and some aggressive individuals looking to prove something. Couple that with the extreme emotions of winning and losing, both at the gambling table as well as looking for a weekend fling, it's a very tightly-wound experience.

With my favorite journeys centering around nature and experiencing a unique culture and its history, Las Vegas is unfortunately the antithesis of a good time for me. Architecturally and thematically, even Vegas tries to transport its visitors away from what could be its authentic identity: "here, go to Medieval Europe, or ancient Rome, or beautiful Venice, or ancient Egypt, or a lost Treasure Island, or to New York City, or to exquisite Paris... anywhere but here."

That being said, many of the shows are truly stupendous, if you can afford the ticket - immensely high production value, and easy to get to from wherever you're staying. If you've got the right group, a bank account that's bursting at the seams, and love a crowded party with some blurry memories, The Strip is calling for you!

Revisiting Las Vegas

Seven years after that experience, I had the honor of being asked to plan the bachelor party for one of my best friends, and one of his favorite destinations in the world is Las Vegas (a math and risk-calculation whiz, he's quite good at sports-betting and poker). With few in the group enthused about trashing our meager savings at the blackjack and craps tables, I endeavored to find events and activities that could thrill the group with great memories, while also enabling the groom to get his dose of winnings. 

There were four opportunities I found that put a new spin on the Las Vegas experience, and that I could confidently recommend to anyone looking for something fun, memorable, and out-of-the-ordinary casino floor and night club scene:

1. Mopeds: For a half day, I secured mopeds for the group. These provided a fun and unique way to get around The Strip, easy to find parking based on their size, early in the day before there was too much public intoxication, and gave a fresh perspective of the area. I think I simply Googled "Las Vegas moped rental," and found the best rate. They weren't in the greatest condition, and we basically had to get a cab to a storage locker facility to pick them up, but they were a great time. 
2. Land Sailing: Jumping in a van and driving 90 minutes out in the desert, Omega Land Sailing hooked us up with a couple hours of racing what equates to a canoe tricycle with a sail through the windy, flat desert. This was the highlight of the trip; and although expensive, a memory we all cherish. Unfortunately, both the website and the Facebook page of the outlet are down, so I'm unsure if this still exists.
3. Wreck Room: This was riotously cheap, and a lot of fun. Wreck Room lets your group loose in a small room filled with junk from a dump: countless glass bottles, VHS tapes, computer parts, a car windshield, and more. After donning full clean suits, steel-toed boots, industrial gloves, and what amounts to a paintball mask, you get to choose your weapons - largely crowbars and bowling pins - and are unleashed to destroy everything in the room for 30 minutes, complete with a video recording of your antics. Hilarious, fun, and a great stress-reliever! 
4. Apocalypse Vegas: Another activity that looks like it has shut down since October 2018, this event was incredible. Set in a giant warehouse, this group had built a small village indoors, and was enacting a story that it was being overrun by zombies. Two literal ex-army soldiers taught the group how to shoot airsoft automatic rifles, you're donned in goggles and helmets, and are then thrust into this incredible setting, full of smoke machines, strobe lights, and thundering metal music. Splitting into squads, you'd follow your soldier throughout the village, kicking down doors, vaulting through windows, and shooting actors dressed like zombies running at you - all while completing missions along the way. Not horribly-priced at about $165/pp, it was like living out a real video game.

If gambling and nightclubs aren't your thing, you have to be very intentional to have a good time in Las Vegas. It can be done, you just have to be creative, determined, and ready to get your hands dirty!